The Great Debate

Kids...how many should I have!?!? Two or three?! Eeek! Panic! It seems everyone from Grandma to Mrs. Smith down the street to a freakin' Facebook quiz has an opinion, story or anecdote on this topic of how many kids I should have. Lots o' reasons to stop at two kids, lots of good points in favor of going for three. Many a horror story of "that third wild child" and some tales of sadness about the reality of a smaller two child Thanksgiving table 20 years from now. Geez, what's an undecided Mommy to do?? And honestly, what business do I have being this UNDECIDED anyway?

This question of number of offspring (maybe if I speak in a clinical way it will help me make a decision) has been consuming me for the past few months. I tend to be a planner. A surprise pregnancy would never happen to me as I am anal retentive about pill taking and contraception right down to the hour. (I know, I'm a freak. Thanks for noticing.) Anyway, I guess I shouldn't say never, but if that happened let's just say it would be more than a "surprise". It would be more like the shock of a bomb being dropped over my house. So that third "whoops" is not really an option, therefore I would rather make myself crazy with a decision making process.

So, here we sit with two gorgeous daughters (and might I add easy- they both were/are sleepers, calm and very pleasant. I know, hate me if you must. I'm sure you are dooming me for that third wild child boy right about now or at least smirking at the thought of me dealing with daughters at the high school age), an easy breezy life, hardly a care in the world. Should I really rock this boat? But then I ask myself, "What would Marge and Homer's life be like without little Maggie??



Sweetpea and Bunny are over 3.5 years apart, so we took our sweet time the first time around. But low and behold, those thoughts of spacing between children is creeping back into my head like thunder getting louder and closer. Each month that ticks by I calculate the distance if I were to get pregnant right at that very minute. I am rapidly approaching the point at which Bunny and a third will be 3 years apart. Yikes?! Really? So soon? Didn't I just give birth to her? I still have some baby weight on me. (Please note that item is on my list of things to get rid of before I get pregnant again. Hmmm...)

I know spacing is all relative. Some people have kids 13 months apart (God love ya) and other have seven years between kids. In each case people make do with their situation. But actually, while I know I do not want kids too far apart (at least not father than Sweeetpea and Bunny are), my real issue is really whether or not to take the leap- as we all know there is no turning back once the baking has begun...


A few positives to stopping at two kids:

* both of my girls we born and are healthy (I think a lot of people take this fact for granted)

* we're beyond sleep issues (I love sleeping for 9 hours in one shot)
* no new home needed (we live in a 3 bedroom house)
* no minivan (my personal favorite reason- I vowed to NEVER have one)
* one hotel room (I know petty, but seriously, I think of this stuff)
* perfect parent to child ratio
* easier on the schedule
* more money
* I am scared of boys... a third could in fact be one! YIKES!

How about a few nods to the three kid scenario:

* more excitement
* snuggling one more baby
* pregnancy (I LOVE being pregnant. See, I told you I was a freak. Except for the crappy sleeping, lack of margaritas and gain of headaches, I adore pregnancy.)
* big family get-togethers in the future
* more grandkids (I am laughing at that reason, but it is true.)
* we might have a boy! (see I fooled you, you thought I was a boy hater. I'm not, I'm just scared of them. It might be fun to have one.)
* sibling love (awwwww)
* I know I would look back and not ever be able to imagine my life without the third

So what the heck and I supposed to do? My husband and I have a conversation about this topic on a daily basis. I like to say I have two kid days and three kid days. Sometimes I look at my girls and think, "This is it, this is a great life. I love what we are doing and what we can do." Other days I pine for another. Another child to add to the chaos and stir things up! A little fun and zest.

I'm a fun Mommy and a pretty good one (or so I've been told). One of my closest friends has told me she believes there are some people meant to be Moms and have a bunch of kids at their feet. She thinks I am one of those people. She thinks it would be a crime to not have just ooonnnnneeee more. She thinks I can handle three, no problem. PLEASE she begs... I should note she had three boys in three years. Maybe she just wants to see me suffer.

I guess when it comes down to it, the only thing I need to know is whatever we decide will be the best for us whether it is two or three, spaced close or far. In the end that's all we'll know and love...

In closing I would like you to know Facebook recommended that I have two or three kids! Thanks for nothing. Baaaaaaaa!