Let's Get It On...Giraffe Style

Ewww. Ewwwwww. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!

I took Bunny and Sweetpea to the zoo today. It was delightful. Gorgeously perfect 68 degree weather, blinding sunshine, met up with great friends and their well behaved, darling little girls. We saw the elephants, went into that smelly reptile house, gazed at the sweet little pygmy monkeys, ate a lovely picnic lunch, stopped by the big mean looking rhino and then the fun came to a halt.

We rounded the corner to the giraffes. Yipppeee! The giraffes! These animals are my favorite. So graceful, so elegant, so zooish, so, so, so HORNY! Oh my good God above those freakin' giraffes were flippin' GETTING IT ON. Wowza! As I was taking my quintessential giraffe photo (with my cute little Bunny hanging from the railing in the foreground) I caught a glimpse of red. A rather big glimpse of red actually, protruding from that sex crazed boy giraffe! Ewwwwww! But as if that was not enough of a site, that bad ass started coming at that sweet girl giraffe from behind. My eyes grew wide as he began to mount her and there was a collective gasp from the large crowd of onlookers. "Mommy, what is going on?!", Sweetpea asked as she was trying to see by standing on tippy toes from behind a woman and her son. Whew! That was close. I was so not down with her seeing the red wonder attempt to slip in. Thankfully, my friend stepped in and announced "The giraffes we playing tag!". Good one. And with that I whipped around and alerted our group, "Off to the Ostriches!" My other friend jabbed me in the side, raised her eyebrows and said, "Welcome to Springtime at the zoo!" Oh. My. God. I was SO not in the mood to see giraffes procreating.

If it looked like this I would have been just fine... but they did not look like this!

It was like this!!!



Eeeek! Oh and for your information, that is a red cucumber. A delicacy in the Himalayas of Sikkim and Nepal. Sir Joseph Hooker first discovered it in the eastern Himalayas in 1848. Here is part of what he wrote about it: "So abundant were the fruits, that for days together I saw gnawed fruits lying by the natives' paths by the thousands, and every man, woman and child seemed engaged throughout the day in devouring them." Ummm... is it weird that that description gives me the heebie jeebies?!
Ok, back to giraffe sex...

Believe me, I know, I so obviously KNOW this is a completely normal, naturey, peace, love, go for it and procreate kind of thing. I know it would have been a great opportunity to gaze in awe at life in the animal kingdom. I know Sweetpea probably could have, maybe could have handled a better explanation than tag (brother/sister giraffe fighting would have been a better option for sure). But no, I could not. I could not handle giraffe sex. Maybe it was the gasp from the crowd and the exodus away from that exhibit, or the few weirdos that were drawing in for a closer view, pointing and getting ready to go in depth about making babies (with their children no less, who were definitely of the age to believe they were just playing tag), or the fact that I could not get past that weird red thing wielding its way toward that poor girl giraffe who wanted nothing to do with that horn dog male. Ewww. Ewwwww! Ewwwwwwwww! Get me to the freakin' ostriches STAT! Whatever it was, giraffe sex is not high on my list. Is that OK? Ewwwwwwwwwww!