Whatever Martha, It's a "Good Thing"!

All is quiet on the home front...the cow's in the meadow, the sheep's at the corn, it's naptime for Bunny, the dishes are loaded and Sweetpea is at a playdate. I hear the washer on the spin cycle, dinner's in the slow cooker and I just put on my 2nd pot of coffee for the day. I made a few phone calls, scheduled myself for volunteer hours and miraculously have approximately 27.3 minutes to myself before Bunny wakes up and we are on the move yet again. Hmmm...what to do with those precious minutes?

Well, I know EXACTLY what I am going to do. I'm going to sit my butt down for the first time all day, with my afternoon coffee and flip on the TV. Luxurious, I know. Slightly guilt ridden, yes. But, I have DVR'd something very special that will fit perfectly into my meager 27.3 minutes and will make all of my guilt go away. It is my decadent TV pleasure (and no it is not porn), Whatever Martha.

Now, I am sure many of you have caught this show on The Fine Living Network, or as I like to refer to it, The Faaaaaiiiinnnee Livvvvin' Network. But just in case, let me introduce you to my two, new best friends, Alexis and Jennifer. Together they keep me laughing so hard that I need to hold in my pee (which is no easy feat ever since I birthed Sweetpea and Bunny). You know a show is funny when you have to do kegels just to be able to watch it. See, no guilt.

Here are my friends:


Aren't they dolls?

One is Martha Stewart's daughter, Alexis (the tall, beautiful blond) and the other is her friend and the daughter of the Chairman of Martha Stuart Living Omnimedia, Jennifer (the gorgeous red head).

I like these two fine ladies for a few reasons, the first of which is their sense of humor. They are dry, off the cuff, witty and sometimes a little raunchy--- see I knew you'd want to be their best friend too. They just tell it like it is and that's that. And they will go after anyone, from a nerdy guy who collects twine to a total freak of nature lady that actually came on Living to do a segment on washing the dishes. Yes, WASHING dishes, Dish Washing 101, Dish Washing for Dummies, the most mindless task in the universe, perhaps galaxy. I guess this was an area Martha felt her audience needed to step up their skills. It is particularly hysterical to hear them talk right over the clip (a la Mystery Science Theater 3000) ripping apart the content the guests are presenting or stringing Martha up for daring to clean a pair of gardening shears in "mom jeans". They also spend some time bantering with one another and will make fun of themselves and their quirky habits. Alexis even gives us a glimpse into her childhood with Martha, often complaining of NEVER being permitted to eat a cupcake, as she is attempting to ice one the way her mother demonstrated on the TV.

Since the entire premise of the show is based on picking apart clips from The Martha Stewart show, Living circa 1993, etc., ultimately the girls spend most of their time mocking the one and only jailbird, Martha herself. I love it. LOVE it. I really do like Martha (I'll even pop her current morning show on occasionally), but she has this uncanny ability to make me feel like a complete loser if I can't hand craft these



or paint this

or bake and decorate this or this




or keep a house like this.


So, it brings me a great sense of satisfaction when her own flesh and blood admits defeat when attempting to craft, cook or complete a project Martha has made look SOOOO easy on TV. A task she made me feel like I should be able to complete with the greatest of ease while flying on a trapeze with my hand duct taped to my forehead because Martha said it was a "Good Thing".

I have to admit, another reason I love the show is the memories it refreshes me with. I really liked that Living show back in the day and I would like to think I did pick up a few tips here and there (who doesn't need to know how to set up and knock over 1,000,000 dominoes, how to paint a harlequin pattern on a porch or how to host a Bingo party?) Sometimes watching this show will take me back to a carefree time in my life where I was only dreaming of planning my wedding, hosting baby showers, cooking a Thanksgiving turkey or making my own party horns for my child's birthday. I would gaze at Martha with wide eyes only hoping I could measure up and pick it all up. Well, here I sit years later, 2 kids wiser, an experienced baby shower thrower, a decent Thanksgiving turkey cooker and I still getting a kick out of Martha, but from a different perspective- we do the best we can... and that's a "Good Thing". Thanks Alexis and Jennifer!

Here's a clip for your viewing pleasure...doesn't everyone have gingham ribbon strung s'mores sticks?